You just finished up a scene with your child that reminds you of a scene from the 80's movie Child's Play. The first thing you ask yourself is "what did I do to this kid"? Well to shed a little light in your day is that tantrums are a part of growing up for a small child. I am 100 percent positive you knew that already. Back to the real problem, why are they happening so frequently, though?
Tantrums in my house with my toddler used to become the norm for a while. It was like if a tantrum didn't happen to us we were about to get hit from somewhere else with something else. Not a way to think by no means, but when you are up to your ears, you simply cannot help it. My toddler would become acquainted with a broken crayon, a piece of plastic from a hanger, or a clump of hair from his mama. If he didn't have these random items at his request when he requested it, all drama was about to break loose.
I believe most children; toddlers specifically, are quite intelligent. They are at a point in life where they don't have the constant lies and insecurities us adults think about. They have a nice clean canvas to paint that picture of reason and action. Parents, I'll say this loud and clear; TAKE ADVANTAGE, that your child is intelligent already. I literally sit down with my Son and talk to him like an adult and he is almost immediately locked-in to what I am saying. It appears he respects that I am not going into a high pitch mode with constant repeats like you witness people do in the typical kid learning shows. Children are intelligent enough to know the difference in pitch when you converse with them compared to when you converse to their teachers or your friends. They gather the difference in tones and began to analyze the difference. I know this may sound bizarre, but children do this all the time. Some will react to the difference, some will go with the flow. My child, however, feels he should be spoken to differently, and I agree. It doesn't mean I explain to him how taxes work or bills, but I speak to him in the same tone for what I need him to do. During a moment of a tantrum, I will literally sit down next to him and ask questions like, "do you think this behavior is appropriate?" or "what is making you respond this way?" My tone should remain the same as if I am discussing a matter with my Wife. Tantrums are clearly to draw attention and test your patience. When I do not show much emotion to these tantrums, the need to engage in them is not present.
Be Mindful of your tones. They make a huge difference in your child's reactions. Your tones determine if your child will "flight" or "fight" or just plain "listen". Be aware of letting your loud voice slip, it definitely does not do much help to help with those tantrums.
Good Luck Parents!